We have shown below the original e-mail. The 20 language errors we were targeting are indicated in red.
Thanks to you for your interest on working with us. With regards to your proposal, we discussed about your feedbacks with our staffs. However, we are regret to inform that you had not been shortlisted. The performance results in your proposal shown that sales were decreased in the first quarter. Moreover, another company has indicated that they can borrow us a larger sum, so their investment will be greater than you. Even though this was not our main selection criteria.
Please revert if you have any question regarding our decision. Please kindly call me between 2pm to 5pm. We will return your samples to you by today.
Best Regards
Mr Noen Glish
We have shown below a possible corrected version which retains the original language of the e-mail as much as possible.
Thank you for your interest in working with us. With regard to your proposal, we discussed your feedback with our staff. However, we regret to inform you that you have not been shortlisted. The performance results in your proposal show that sales decreased in the first quarter. Moreover, another company has indicated that they can lend us a larger sum, so their investment will be greater than yours. However, this was not our main selection criteria.
Please reply if you have any questions regarding our decision. Please call me between 2pm and 5pm. We will return your samples to you today.
Best regards
Mr Noen Glish
For more information on any of our services, please e-mail us at info@yzer.com.sg